ACHILLES IN HEELS

PLEASE NOTE:  There are now many extracts from  ACHILLES IN HEELS on YOUTUBE, performed live by both the Spring 2006 and Autumn 2006 casts.   If you wish to watch the numbers as you read the synopsis, click either SPRING or AUTUMN to see that cast perform the number.   (Not all numbers are available nor are there clips of both casts.)

The company of ten open the show by briefly CHORALE-ing us with the ancient Greek myths about the boyhood of Achilles. When he was born, two oracles foretold his future. One said that he would be the greatest warrior the Greeks had ever known but would die in the Trojan War; the other that the Greeks would not win that war unless Achilles fought.

His mother Thetis, not wanting her son to die, bathed him in the waters of the river Styx for protection. She then sent him off to be brought up by her brother King Lycomedes. The boy would be brought up in disguise.

As a girl.

Knowing the oracle, King Odysseus of Ithaka realised he had to find Achilles if the Greeks were to win the forthcoming war. He tracked him down to Lycomedes’ court and then presented himself in disguise as a peddler with a tray of things sure to delight young ladies. It was only when Achilles, known as "Pyrrha", showed his pleasure at a cunningly hidden sword that his true identity became known.

Having told us the myth, the company inform us in a Greek sritaki dance that IT WASN'T REALLY LIKE THAT, over which THETIS RAPS out some scene setting. Somehow, the news has to be broken to "Pyrrha" that she isn't a girl.

Achilles, as "Pyrrha", and his two sisters Diodeima and Thea introduce themselves in the form of Ancient Supremes (THE DAUGHTERS OF LYCOMEDES: SPRING/ AUTUMN.)

Phoenix, "Pyrrha"'s faithful slave, comes in to tell them that their aunt Thetis is arriving that morning as is, separately, a nobleman called Eurymachus, to seek Diodeima's hand. Thea is not pleased by this news; if Diodeima is married off, she'll be the next to go. She leaves Diodeima alone with her tutor Zeno who declares his love (WATCHING YOU), a love which Diodeima reciprocates.

Meanwhile on Ithaka, Odysseus sings of his growing unhappiness, the only solution to which would appear to be a war. (ODYSSEUS ON ITHAKA: SPRING/ AUTUMN).

Thetis arrives at Lycomedes' palace accompanied by a young protégé and neighbour Patroclus. Lycomedes takes both Patroclus and Eurymachus off into the palace, leaving Thetis alone with Phoenix who is now desperately wondering how the news can be broken to "Pyrrha". (EASY FOR YOU TO SAY) They are joined by Lycomedes who joins in with Phoenix's worries.

Alone, "Pyrrha" sings of her loneliness and confusion. PYRRHA'S LAMENT (SPRING/ AUTUMN).

Thea tells Diodeima that she has heard that Eurymachus is very tight-fisted and advises her to show EXTRAVAGANT TASTE (SPRING ) which she does when Eurymachus enters, Thea in hiding but prompting . Eurymachus is put off Diodeima -- and rather taken by his brief glimpse of "Pyrrha" who had left with Patroclus. Once Eurymachus has left for home and consideration of the marriage, Diodeima and Thea sing in triumph about FROU FROU GIRLY THINGS (AUTUMN), "Pyrrha" joining them.

Ten days later, Thetis is leaving, the problem with "Pyrrha" still not sorted out. Patroclus finds himself strangely drawn to “Pyrrha” and, alone, sings that he is FEELING THINGS, he's never felt before.

Eurymachus is seen arriving at Odysseus’ court in Ithaka on his way home. It has taken some months for him to arrive there. When Eurymachus mentions Lycomedes’ three daughters, Odysseus realises that he has "FOUND MYSELF A HERO" (SPRING)..

On Skyros, Diodeima tells Zeno that she is pregnant. (DIODEIMA'S NEWS)

Patroclus sings of his love for "Pyrrha", now far away, just as "she" sings of her love for him. Everyone is singing of their problems as the Act ends.

And as the SECOND ACT begins.

Eventually only Patroclus and "Pyrrha" are alone on stage. Patroclus, having just returned to the court on Skyros with Thetis, talks to "Pyrrha" about how he feels very much the poor relation, he hasn't even got a good sword. Finally, after months of frustration, Patroclus grabs and starts to fondle her. In surprise he reprises that he is "FEELING THINGS"(SPRING) he's never felt before. He reveals to "Pyrrha" that, well, she's a boy. Achilles finally realises the source of all his confusions.

And the possible source of possible problems.   Problems that Diodeima and Zeno are also having to confront.   LOVE IS WRONG (SPRING / AUTUMN)

Poor King Lycomedes too is bowed down under the pressure of FAMILY OBLIGATIONS (AUTUMN) until his sister Thetis returns. Talk everywhere is of coming war and she thinks it only fair now that Achilles be told the whole truth and be given the opportunity to fight if he must; she doesn't think he will. Phoenix comes in to say that a peddler has arrived - he's identified him as the disguised Odysseus. They realise that this may be what they've been looking for.

Left alone Thetis sings of the LITTLE MONSTERS (SPRING).The girls are called to see the peddler. Achilles keeps trying to say something to his father and aunt but they put him off. The peddler produces his tray (to a reprise of FROU FROU GIRLY THINGS) Achilles pulls out the hidden sword and is delighted -- it's exactly what Patroclus wants. Odysseus points him out as a boy and Achilles says of course he knew he wasn't a girl. Thetis reveals that she is Achilles' mother -- and that Phoenix, a former tutor from Pelius' (Thetis' husband) court, is his father. The oracles were all paid for by first Thetis and then Pelius himself to cover Pelius' anger in realising he had been deceived by his wife. Odysseus is deeply disturbed by Achilles being in love with Patroclus. Diodeima seizes her chance and "reveals" that Achilles is at least bi-sexual - she is pregnant by him!

Only Thea is initially horrified by the idea that Achilles will now be going off to fight (THE TROJAN WOMEN : SPRING / AUTUMN ) but eventually Thetis and Diodeima join in with her lament.

Nonetheless, Achilles determines that if Patroclus is going off to fight, he will go too. He'd rather be with Patroclus.

The cast remind us that Achilles' death has been inevitable from the outset -- and besides that, these people are all now LOST IN THE MYTHS OF TIME.

Fortunately, Thetis quickly interrupts this number as being far too gloomy. She points out that just for the moment everyone is having a happy ending and leads the company into a joyous final BACCHANAL SRITAKI (SPRING / AUTUMN).

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